I haven't contracted Covid-19 so far! Instead during this Pandemic feel I have maybe developed Social & Mental Issues!
(Still a Work in Progress)
So living alone & having already mostly self Isolated for months during this Pandemic!
I now have no real human contact like many people! Tho I do have my usual anticipated social outing "a trip to a grocery store for some milk!" Lol
So unfortunately I've become sort of a Hermit, kinda of an Introvert & now even Self Conscious!
In the winters for the past few years b4 the Pandemic! Hell when was home I would often enjoy hanging out Cacooning! (by myself)
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10157823294880527&id=751750526
Then I slowly became kinda close to a cool friend who became kinda special to hang out & even cacoon together!
As we'd have an edible/smoke up, chill, listen to cool music & shake our bootie or watch a movie. As guess we mostly retained a bit of a free spirited life style!
But hell there'a a difference between Cacooning & Self Isolating due to Covid-19 Heath Restrictions! Bcuz Cacooning is self imposed Isolation in a way! As we'd still have the option of going out in the evening to enjoy dancing, going to hear live music, hang out in a park or whatever!
As we were alllowed to do whatever since there were no restrictuons as everything was still open for business!
But while Isolating during this Pandemic in most cases! Hell can't even hang out with a Friend unless they live in the same household!
Hey hope it doesn't sound like I'm complaining, feeling sorry for myself or expecting others to feel sorry for me! As not into saying "Woe is Me" but as always being Realistic & saying things as it is!
Anyway during this Pandemic there are many people experiencing similar or far worse situations & issues than me!
But unfortunately in 2020 (not knowing there'd be a Pandemic we had already voted) so our Strata had planned! Starting on June 1st for a construction company to begin repairing the Building Envelope for the next 18 months!
Which is the physical separator between the conditioned and unconditioned environment of a building including the resistance to air, water, heat, light, and noise transfer.
So we suffered thru the heat of the summer as we couldn't open our windows! As the noise & dust would enter our units! We also had to pretty much keep our blinds closed for privacy as workers worked outside on our balconies, walls & windows! So guess we were left in kinda of a dark over heated apts! But luckily I have a fan & air purifier which helped a bit!
They were also replacing our windows, screens & balconies (on units which have them)! What got to me is the sound of power drills & power screwdrivers outside my unit! As its hard to concentrate on any work while the sound is so loud!
As heck it got to the point that I was kinda feeling like I was locked in a bit of a prison! So I'd try to get outdoors often during the nice days to ride my bike in the summer! Tho was usually by myself as wasn't hanging out much with people unfortunately!
Now that its rainy fall & soon winter they've been applying water proof glue to fill the gaps between the walls, our window & balconies!
But heck the glue is so strong that it comes thru into our units as its like fucking finger nail polish remover!
For me it makes me feel dizzy so can't work indoors or do anything in my unit! So have to get out for a walk, bike ride unfortunately I can't visit anyone!
Also unluckily I've been having a bit of trouble with a small water drip by my washer faucet area! So having a trade person friend look into it who helped me last year with a different problem!
When has the time but finding a small water leak is like finding a squeak somewhere in your car! Lol
Tho when really think about it I don't feel I have true Social or Mental Issues! As can still go outdoors to ride my bike a few times a week, go on walks as got away from running!
But sadly since the latest Covid Restriction at the of Oct haven't been out in nature very often! Which enjoy as would often go on hikes in forests & mtns of North Van! But with restrictions haven't been going to North Van!
As I really miss human contact & hanging out with people! But then like an Idiot when a Friend does reach out to maybe get together! Heck guess I'd kinda Push them away!
But wtf maybe I should lighten up as guess I kinda follow the Covid Protocols to the letter of the Medical Health Officials Law! As I always wear a Mask, keep 2 feet apart & guess also stay away from socializing with people since I dont live in the same household with anyone!
Guess which means sadly I don't socialize with anyone except at a store! Tho heck I can video chat or call someone on the phone tho dislike talking on phones & video calls! As heck I've always liked talking face to face while hanging out!
Anyway guess I just want to do my small part to maybe help end this fucking Pandemic! So I don't want to possibly pass on a Virus if I maybe Asymptomatic! I truly like people to be Safe so my belief has been I'd rather sadly Isolate alone than possibly Inflict a Virus on my Family, Friends or anyone!
So guess (while hunkered down at home while respecting & closely following the Covid Protocol Directives) actually believe my symptom maybe a slight case of what is called "Cabin Fever"!
Caused by being stuck alone or indoors for a prolonged period of time during the winter months! And suffering from depression caused from a vitamin deficiency! Caused by a lack of sunlight and sick of being inside with the same (or in my case the lack of) people for months on end!
Hell I started to be concerned bcuz tho I miss people so much but when a Friend has reached out to get together! Heck guess I've kinda Push them away! Not cuz disliked them as really cared for them, their kindness & friendliness!
As I've always / still enjoy meeting & socializing with people! As not anti-social or an introvert as it may appear! So I started to kinda reminisce about the Good Old Carefree past experiences & memories of my more dont give a fuck attitude as I enjoyed Life! While I still enjoy Life but guess kinda quit drinking alcohol & partying so much now (tho still do rage like that occasionally)! As remembered a couple of my previous fun dont give a shit times/trips!
Like thought of the time when finally came home from a 6 month trip at the end of July to spend the next month or so hanging out & enjoying the summer!!!
Hell also thought of the time was feeling a bit Bummed out about not going to Burning Man! So decided hell why not go on a Road Trip across Canada instead!!!!!
http://whereisthefreespiritguy.blogspot.com/2010/11/shit-was-bummed-out-about-not-going-to.html
Also the cool time when was hanging out wherever, with an Aussie Mate sitting around smoking ganja in a far away dorm room! As we gradually came to realize that Budget Traveling in many countries is like Camping... which makes it such a fun Life experience...
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10150961390620527&id=751750526
Then I started to realizie during this Pandemic that I'm kinda restricted from experiencing those times right now! So unfortunately tho I hate to admit it but feel I may be experiencing some type of temporary Depression!
Tho I miss people more than anything, I keep saying it seems when a Friend has reached out to get together! Heck I'd Push them away as all I can say is I've started to feel a bit self conscious with sudden low self esteem around some people I dont know that well!
As been thinking its maybe from being isolated by myself for months on end! But hell I've always felt I was a social animal as I never had those issues b4! Bcuz I lived to meet people while travelling all over the World!!
So heck I've been thinking starting in Jan I may do some Volunteering in my spare time (which I seem to have a lot)! Insha'allah
But unfortunately most Volunteering Gigs have been shut down during this Pandemic! Tho I dislike talking on the phone but willing to scarifice & try it!
As seems they maybe need assistance for people to call & talk to some lonely Seniors stuck by themselves in Care Homes!
Which in some ways it's not unlike me as I live alone tho luckily I can go out alone without supervision!
Tho b4 occasionally at times I'd go out & get quite shit faced! So in the morning I'd wake up in bed & think hey I made it home last night! Even tho I'd remember exactly what happened! As was just amazed that was able to maybe ride my bike, take a bus or walk! Lol
Luckily that didnt happen very often & now don't get that shit faced any longer! Lol as sadly during the Pandemic there are no place to go or people can hang out or visit!
Which started their Virus campaign with a shot watched around the world
Then the next day, on Dec 9 Canada also approved the use of the Pfizer Vaccine! Its awesome news tho we are unsure when we will actually get our Vaccine shots?
But I'm happy for all the Essential and Frontline Workers who have worked tiredlessly during this COVID-19 Crisis!
https://econofact.org/essential-and-frontline-workers-in-the-covid-19-crisis
Plus all the Patients stuck in Hospitals, the Elderlies in Nursing & People shut in Assisted Care Homes!
I don't fit in any of those categories so I can't get or deserve a Vaccine right away! As I don't mind waiting months or even until the end of 2021 for my turn!
As I don't mind, as plan to wear a mask forball of 2021 even if get a shot! If I don't get a shot sadly I'm willing to keep waiting isolating alone without any Social Life!
Tho I will really miss hanging out with anyone for another year! Also what sucks is I won't be able to travel anywhere for a long time! 😔
But wtf 😵 I'll be so happy if my Family & Friends get the Vaccine and do OK! 😍
So in the meant time we should all keep wearing Masks, Social Distance Wash their Hands & continue following Covid-19 Protocols
So whenever I feel overwhelmed or down! I just watch this feel good Video which warms my heart & makes me realize heck Life is Beautiful!
As be Safe, Happy & Healthy! Bcuz things will soon change for the better! Insha'allah
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